Tuesday, 28 October 2014

I've Lost My (creative) Mind

So, it's been a while . . . again. As you've probably deduced from the title of this post, it isn't because I didn't have internet this time. Even now I don't know what this post is, my creative process is stalled and wont turn over (great car engine metaphor).

Let me explain . . . erm, I don't actually know what to say. Shit.

This is all very frustrating (and frankly a little upsetting) because my goal in life is to be an author. I want to write fiction which, as you know because you're not an idiot, isn't too similar to lifestyle blogging but I approach them in similar ways (I'm just stuck on trying to trigger the method, I guess) and you might have guessed that seeming as the blogpost writing hasn't been happening, no other writing is happening.

From July to August this year I wrote a lot. I was sad and frustrated and felt like I was lacking any form of control in my life. But I wrote a lot. I wrote so much because the ideas wouldn't let me sleep. I let pens bleed dry on my page at 3am and it was therapeutic and fucking beautiful.

And now I'm frustrated and a little down for different reasons, mainly that the ideas are letting me sleep. So I'm not writing, which sucks.

I've tried to write posts, I even finished a couple but never posted them for one reason or another. I kind of feel like I need to come back with a bang and prove to myself that this 2 month block has made me better in some way, idk.

But with all that being said and after a quick read of Alice's new blogpost, I feel like I just have to write something. This post probably won't be my best, in my eyes or yours, but it's there and I wrote it and that's something.

p.s. I'm trying.